The Rocky Horror Project
by Neko-ane
Summary: What happens when the cast of Fushigi Yuugi is in a play of a...different nature? Chaos shall ensue!
1. Cast List

Rocky Horror Picture Show- Cast & Crew  
  
Cast:  
  
Brad Majors(a hero)– Tamahome  
  
Janet Weiss(a heroine)– Miaka   
  
Dr. Frank N. Furter (an evil scientist)- Nuriko   
  
Investigator (an expert)– Chiriko  
  
Dr. Scott (an ex-teacher)– Mitsukake  
  
Magenta (a Domestic)– Audra  
  
Riffraff (a Handyman)– Chichiri  
  
Rocky (the Creation)- Hotohori  
  
Eddie (a Bad Egg)- Tasuki  
  
Columbia (a groupie)- Lilly  
  
Ralph Hapshatt(a groom)- Random Chorus Member  
  
Betty Monroe (a bride)- Random Chorus Memeber  
  
Crew:  
  
Director –  
  
Rachel  
  
Costumes & Makeup –   
  
Hotohori  
  
Nuriko  
  
Sound & Lighting –  
  
Dominic  
  
Vash the Stampede  
  
Props/Medical –  
  
Mitsukake  
  
Chiriko  
  
Stage Hands –  
  
Neko-ane  
  
Leon  
  
Count D  
  
Special Effects –  
  
Chichiri  
  
Ticket Booth Ran by:  
  
Otaku-no-miko  
  
Jessica 


	2. The Trouble Always Starts Backstage

((Alrighty. This is just an attempt at writing one of those playfics that are getting so popular... This one is obviously based on The Rocky Horror Picture show, so any one that is appalled by this decadent fic, then maybe you should rent the movie. Seriously. Forgive me if the terms used are incorrect, but I really have no experience backstage whatsoever. All I know is what the actors are supposed t'do.   
  
Disclaimer(s): I do not own Fushigi Yuugi. Therefore I do not own the characters I am using for the fanfic. I also don't own any characters from Pet Shop of Horrors, Trigun, or .hack. I do own a copy of the soundtrack, and have seen the movie multiple times, but I do not own the script or the lyrics. Not even the characters, even though they're weird enough. They all belong to the wonderful writer and various affiliates.   
  
Warning: OOCness. Always. Probably a little Miaka/Tama bashing later on… Possible fluff and some hentai conversations. Well, I am psycho. Whaddya expect??))  
  
Part I Scene I – The Trouble Always Starts Backstage...   
  
A girl with medium length russet (::cough:: brunette ::cough::) hair traipsed into the lobby of a large Shakespearian theater, carrying a notebook protectively under her jacket and brushing wet hair out of her eyes. Outside it was raining, not particularly unusual for Angels Camp in the middle of winter, but odd enough that she hadn't been prepared. She glanced out the window and sneered, triumphant in the face of the storm. Her notebook was safe.  
  
A young man glanced up from the ticket counter where he was reading a magazine that looked suspiciously like something he shouldn't have out in public. He grinned at her, flashing a perfect smile and giving her a thumbs-up. He had medium length blonde hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and bangs that could only be described as "fly-away". Blue eyes were hidden by a pair of cheap sunglasses.  
  
Rachel: Hey, Leon! When'd you get here?  
  
Leon: Not too long ago. (He takes off his sunglasses to give her a wink.) Fighting against the elements again?  
  
Rachel: (She sticks her tongue out at the cop.) Yeah, sure. (She brandishes the notebook.) Just trying to keep this damn thing dry. What's up? Why're you here so early?  
  
Leon: Well… D decided to show up for this one, so I'm keeping an eye on him to make sure he isn't going to try and sell any of his freaks to your actors.  
  
Rachel's eyes widened in a look of fangirlish glee. Her earlier frown was replaced with a huge grin.  
  
Rachel: D's here?! Where'd he go???  
  
Leon: (Sweatdrops.) Eh… I think he's backstage.   
  
Q-chan suddenly flew in and landed on Rachel's shoulder with a happy grin. He squeaked a greeting and started playing with her hair.  
  
Rachel: H-Hey! Q-chan, you'll just tangle it more! (She frowns in sudden realization.) Waitaminute. If you're here…  
  
A small slender figure stepped out of the shadows, long formal cheongsam swishing about his ankles. His shoulder length black hair caught the light and took on a midnight blue sheen. A small smile graced his features as he watched the little rabbit mess with the girl's hair.   
  
D: Q-chan, you really mustn't torment the director. (He bows respectfully to the director.) Your actors were getting worried about you, Rachel-chan.  
  
Rachel: Honto? I suppose I'd better go check on them…   
  
She disappeared out the side-door that lead backstage. Leon glared suspiciously at the Count.   
  
Leon: Alright, D. What are you planning?  
  
D: (The Count looks supremely innocent and a little hurt.) Me? Planning something? Officer, you really are paranoid. I don't plan on doing anything here save watching the show.   
  
Leon: (grumbling) Yeah, right.  
  
Meanwhile, backstage…  
  
Rachel cursed silently. Why did she always go in the wrong door?? She had gone through the door that led to the lighting booth, not the dressing rooms. And to get to the dressing rooms, she'd have to run across the stage as quickly and silently as possible.   
  
Not that that was a problem, or anything.  
  
Rachel: (Muttering to herself.) Well… Here goes nothing.  
  
She tore across the stage, almost tripped across a spare sound cord, and caught her balance soon enough to turn the headlong trip into a harmless tumble that took her all the way to the other side of the stage.  
  
…Where she found herself face-to-boot with one of her actors. She glanced up at him with an embarrassed grin.  
  
Rachel: Er… Hi, Tamakins…  
  
Tamahome: (Cocks his head to the side quizzically.) Where have you been? We were all worried… Even Hotohori… Chichiri's practically falling apart…  
  
Rachel: Ack! He can't do that! He's one of the principal characters!!!   
  
The director jumped to her feet, startling Tamahome.  
  
Tamahome: Gah!   
  
Rachel: Hey, Tama, could you watch the front for me for a while? I don't want D selling anything to our patrons… And I have to deal with –   
  
Tamahome: (He nods in understanding.) Alright. Just you'd better hurry it up, we don't have that much time.   
  
Rachel: (Eyes grow wide.) …We don't have someone to manage the ticket booth…  
  
Tamahome: I'll rope the first fangirl I see into it…  
  
The director grinned and gave the boy a thumbs up before disappearing into the shadows. After she left Tamahome shook his head, a wry smile on his lips.  
  
Tamahome: That is one strange girl…  
  
The bishonen shook his head and silently crossed the stage to man the ticket booth (nah, he's gonna girl it) until some unfortunate fangirl ventured into the theater.  
  
.::8::.  
  
Bright lights were only made brighter by the mirrors that lined the walls of the dressing room. Well, it wasn't the dressing room. Each of the principal actors had their own, but this one served as a combination make-up shop and communal hangout.  
  
Rachel entered in a flurry of messy brown hair and cheerful waves. The collective actors and several members of the crew that are currently holding down the furniture (nasty furniture. Why does it always try to run away??) all looked up in surprise, some with a total lack of interest and others… Well… I suppose relieved is the word.  
  
Rachel: Hey, y'all! I heard through the grapevine that certain someones were a little worried. (She fixes a pointed glance on Chichiri, who fidgets and goes back to reading some book or other.) So what's the crisis that can't be handled without me, huh?  
  
Nuriko, who was sitting at the long counter that was in front of the majority of the mirrors, turned around with a look of surprise.   
  
Nuriko: All right, who are you and what have you done with the director?  
  
Rachel: (She blinks at the sarcasm, then grins wickedly.) You've found me out! (Puts a hand dramatically to her forehead.) Whatever shall I do? Please don't call the cops! I didn't put the knife in her back, I swear!  
  
Chichiri: (Glances up sharply from his book. In a flat voice:) That isn't funny, Rachel-sama no da.  
  
Rachel: Hmm… Anyway, the Count was telling me that you were all worrying about me.  
  
Mitsukake: It isn't exactly normal for the director to disappear before everything is ready for the play.  
  
Rachel: (She sticks her tongue out at the healer.) All right, all right! Will you guys forgive me if I tell you that I finished the script revisions?  
  
Tasuki: What the fuck're ya talkin' about, onna? I thought yesterday's were the last ones!  
  
A bar of soap seemingly came out of nowhere and smacked the bandit square in the mouth. He immediately started cussing up a storm, but everyone ignored him.  
  
While all of this was going on Rachel started handing out the scripts. After she finished she flopped down in a chair next to her favorite bishonen, who was still studiously ignoring her presence.  
  
Rachel: (Raises an eyebrow at the monk.) All right, what's up?  
  
Chichiri: …  
  
Rachel: (Eyes narrow in annoyance.) Stop pouting and look at me, would you?  
  
The blue-haired seishi finally glances up from the book.  
  
Chichiri: I'm not pouting. And nothing's up no da.  
  
Rachel: Right. That's why Tama said you were practically falling apart at the seams. Stage fright?  
  
Chichiri: (incredulously) Stage fright no da? No.   
  
She gave him a disbelieving look. What else would be bothering him? As far as she knew there wasn't anything else that could. Unless…  
  
Rachel: You old soft hearted… You were worried about me, weren't you?  
  
Chichiri: …  
  
The director suddenly got a fangirl grin. She waited a few seconds, and then pretty much tackled the poor man.  
  
Rachel: That's so kawaii!  
  
Chichiri: (Massive sweatdrop.) Daaaaa…   
  
She jumped away and flashed a victory sign at the room in general. Then, she pulled a hands-free two-way radio out of her favorite sweatshirt's hood and slipped it onto her head, carefully positioning the mike.  
  
Rachel: (Into the radio.) All right, crew! We're gonna be meeting stage left! I'm giving you about… Five minutes. (She flips off the headset and turns to Nuriko.) Where's Hotohori? You guys need to get going on make-up and costumes… We have about an hour before the show starts.  
  
Nuriko: All right. (His eyes become all big and sparkly.) I'll go get Hotohori-sama! (Flounces out of the room, whistling tunelessly.)  
  
Rachel smiled bemusedly, shaking her head. She wasn't thinking about those two, however… She blinked, coming out of her thoughts with a blush.  
  
Rachel: Hoo-boy… No thinking like that allowed.  
  
Tasuki: (Fully recovered from the soap incident.) Thinkin' like what?  
  
Rachel: (Her blush deepens.) Ehhehhehheh…. Never mind, Red. Never mind.  
  
.::8::.  
  
The entire crew had assembled stage left, save for Nuriko and Hotohori. The crew present included: Rachel, director; Dominic and Vash the Stampede, sound and lighting; Mitsukake, props; Neko-ane (and various chorus members and recruits), stage hands; and finally Chichiri, special effects (surprise of surprises ;;).  
  
Dominic is a young man with a tendency towards being Goth. He'd be really handsome if it weren't for all the piercings in strange places. But he's the best damn light technician in the world.   
  
Neko-ane is a cat youkai that also happens to be the director's rather demonic alter ego. Due to a freak (yeah, right) magical accident they had been separated into the rather mellow, if still insane, Rachel and the seriously evil cat-girl.  
  
Among the chorus members that had been recruited to help Neko-ane move sets and props between scenes were also Leon and D, who had been wandering around backstage at the wrong time.  
  
D was only too happy to help, while Leon was a little… Reluctant. But they're there, so they both are now members of the crew.  
  
Rachel surveyed the motley group with a critical eye. Then she smiled and nodded to herself. These people probably made up the best stage crew anyone could ask for.  
  
Rachel: (Claps hands together to get their undivided attention.) All right, people! This is gonna be one tough night, and we'll most likely all be going home at one in the morning. But, damnit, we're gonna knock their socks off! Any questions?  
  
Neko-ane: (She mutters to herself.) Another hugely inspiring pep talk courtesy of Fluffdom Inc.  
  
Rachel: I heard that, you.   
  
Leon timidly puts his hand up.  
  
Rachel: Yes?  
  
Leon: What am I doing here?   
  
Rachel: (Blinks.) I dunno. What _are_ you doing here?  
  
Leon: …Helping, I guess. (He doesn't sound to happy about it, but who would? He can't _not _help. Not if he values keeping his skin intact, anyway.)  
  
D: (teasingly) Oh, come on, detective! Where's your sense of fun?  
  
Leon: I left it at the pet shop.  
  
Rachel: All right, everyone. Remember, no whistling, and for heaven's sake, don't stand under any sandbags.   
  
A sandbag fell a few feet behind Vash, who jumped three feet in the air, spinning around and pulling his gun.  
  
Vash: Holy shit! (Goes chibi.) That was scaaarrrryyyyyy!!  
  
Rachel just rolled her eyes.   
  
Rachel: Okay, guys. We need to run some sound and lights checks, and I need to go help with the make-up. MOOOOOVE OOOOUUUUUTTT!!!  
  
.::8::.  
  
Sometimes things go wrong for people, and they just don't know why. For instance: Einstein. He invented nuclear fission to be a source of energy, and what do people do with it? Build bombs. Or the caveman who invented the spear. He probably meant for it to be used as a garden ornament… But, I digress.  
  
The person that things were currently going wrong for was a luckless fangirl who also happened to be one of the director's closest friends.  
  
Otaku-no-Miko, fanfic writer extraordinaire, was now roped into the job of 'manning' the ticket booth.  
  
Otaku: (Mutters to herself:) I'll get you for this, Tamahome. I don't know how, but I will.  
  
A cacophony of music and sound effects blared through the doorway into the seating tiers, causing the blonde to wince. She covered her ears with her hands and went back to reading her manga.  
  
.::8::.  
  
Tamahome wandered onto the stage and spotted Rachel. He grinned, creeping up behind her and tapping her on one shoulder while standing behind the other.   
  
The trick has the desired effect. She did a full 180 degree spin before facing him.  
  
Rachel: (Annoyed tone of voice.) Tamahome! You can be such a jerk sometimes!  
  
The director's glare was interrupted by a burst of giggles.   
  
Rachel: (Snickering.) Tamakins, that outfit is _so _you!!  
  
Tamahome: (Glances down at costume, then pushes glasses back onto his nose irritably.) Yeah, yeah.  
  
He was already in the costume he would be wearing for a majority of the play, a rather badly cut brown suit, thick glasses perched on the tip of his pointed nose. The costume made him look so geeky that he was definitely going to receive some screams from the fangirls in the audience...   
  
...And the same fangirls would probably rake the director of a bed of hot coals.  
  
A loud bang from the other side of the stage brought Rachel out of her thoughts with a jolt. She ran over to the noise, where a very fightened looking Vash the Stampede was sprawled, a pitchfork about an inch from his... er... leg.  
  
Rachel: What happened??  
  
Vash: Please don't be mad at me, director-lady! I didn't do anything!!  
  
Rachel: (Sighs) I'm not mad. Now tell me what happened.  
  
Vash: I was walking by, and this thing just... fell on me!  
  
Rachel: (Raises an eyebrow) For 'just falling', it seems to be stuck in the woodwork pretty well.  
  
Mitsukake, who had heard the thud and was doing his job as staff medic by running to the scene well after the accident had occurred, pulled the prop out of the floor.  
  
Mitsukake: Seems to me that you just have incredibly bad luck. (Glances at the holes between Vash's legs.) Or incredibly good luck...  
  
Rachel: (Sweatdrop) Eh... Can we please just stick the thing back where it belongs?  
  
Up above them, a cloaked figure laughed soundlessly. Tonight was going to be a fun night. This play, like all the others ever in this theater, would not go without a hitch...  
  
((So, whaddya think? Cameos welcomed! Just tell me what you look like, your age, and any weird quirks. Seishi preference would be good too!   
  
And about the cloaked figure... What theater is complete without its own personal poltergeist?)) 


	3. The Fangirls Rush In

((Alrighty. Yet another chapter. And if you people don't review, I swear... I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be pretty! All credit for the script, props, and characters goes to Jim Sharman and Richard O'Brien. All lyrics belong to the wonderful mind of Richard O'Brien as well. I take no credit for any of it, so no sue!  
  
Fushigi Yuugi also does not belong to me, as much as I wish it did. I do not own Trigun or Pet Shop of Horrors.  
  
Audra and Lilly belong to themselves, you can even ask them. Same with Otaku-no-Miko and Wolfdog21. I own myself, Dominic and Neko-ane.  
  
Part I Scene II- The Fangirls Rush In...  
  
The set was finally coming together. An impressive backdrop of the Denton Episcopal Church, an old-fashioned building with the traditional steeple. In the so-called distance a billboard reading "Denton: The Home of Happiness" was painted. "Bushes" on plywood backing had been set up around the stage to give an impression of the scene occurring outside. A plaque next to the church said "Be Just and Fear Not" in gothic lettering.  
  
Rachel looked around with a strained grin. It looked wonderful, but... Something still struck her as being wrong.   
  
Oh, that was right...  
  
Rachel: (To Mitsukake, who had just finished setting up the stairs that led up to the "doors" of the church.) Where's the car?  
  
Mitsukake: Wasn't Chichiri supposed to just, you know... (He makes a movement with his hands expressing a sort of "poof")  
  
Rachel: Well... Yes and no... We need a toy car for him to sort of... Enlarge.  
  
Mitsukake: Eh... I'll go see if Chiriko knows where it is.  
  
Rachel: Alright. Call me over the headset when you find it. I gotta go backstage and check on Nuriko and Hotohori.  
  
The healer nodded and set about his task, leaving the director standing in the center of the stage all by her lonesome.   
  
Rachel: (Shudders and mutters to herself.) There is nothing quite as freaky as an empty stage...  
  
She shook her head, carefully walking between the curtains at stage right to get to the backstage area.   
  
.::8::.  
  
Backstage they were having their own problems. Nuriko and Hotohori were both frantically trying to get the other seishi to sit still long enough for them to apply the stage makeup. This was proving a difficult task, since they were missing a couple of principle characters.  
  
As soon as the director entered the room, she was confronted by a frazzled Nuriko.  
  
Nuriko: (Looks close to tears.) Rachel, we're missing two characters!!  
  
Rachel: _What???  
_  
Nuriko: Magenta and Columbia! We don't have anyone to play them!  
  
Rachel: ...oh my god... (Wails.) What am I gonna dooooo??  
  
Just then, Otaku poked her head into the room.   
  
Otaku: Hey, Rach? Audra and Lilly are here...  
  
Rachel: (Eyes light up as she gets an idea.) Audra and Lilly?? Really??   
  
She rushed out of the room, grinning broadly.   
  
Nuriko: Why am I worried...?  
  
.::8::.  
  
A medium-height girl with waist-length reddish-brown hair and a shorter girl with short purple-black hair were waiting in the lobby.  
  
The taller one had a blood-red baby-tee on that had the slogan "Watch out- I bite" blazoned across the chest, black flare leg jeans, and black tennis.  
  
The shorter one was wearing a white shirt with "Angel" written across it in sparkly pink lettering, and a white windbreaker. Her jeans were blue, and her shoes were white to match her shirt and jacket. Quite a different look from her slightly demonic sister.  
  
As soon as Rachel entered the lobby she pounced on them, giving the shorter one a noogie and flashing a thumbs up at the taller.   
  
Rachel: Hi, Miaka!  
  
Lilly: (aka The Short One) Don't call me that!  
  
Rachel: Aw, why not? (She grins evilly.) Come backstage and you can meet the real Miaka.  
  
Audra: (aka The Demonic One) I'm only interested in seeing Tasuki.   
  
Lilly: Me too! And Chichiri-sama!!  
  
Rachel: Eheheheheheh... I'm sure you'll get to see them... (Under her breath.) _Eventually..._  
  
Otaku: (Walks in from a door on the opposite side of the room.) Hey, uh, Nuri's wondering where his newest victims- I mean, eh, _actors _are.  
  
Rachel: Just a minute... (Turns to the sisters, who are both looking at her apprehensively.) Hey, how would you two like to be in the play?  
  
Audra: No. Frickin'. Way.  
  
Lilly: Ditto.  
  
Rachel: (Tries to give them the puppy dog look. Let it be known that this only works for people with _brown_ eyes.) Pwease?  
  
Sisters: No.  
  
Rachel: (Is now begging.) You'll get to see the guys back there! You'll even get to work with them!  
  
Audra: Enticing...  
  
Lilly: (Drool.)  
  
Audra: (Glances at sister and rolls eyes.) You are _such_ a wench... Alright, alright. What parts?  
  
Rachel: (Inner sigh of relief.) Magenta and Columbia.  
  
Audra: I'll take Magenta. She's awesome!  
  
Lilly: Who's Columbia?  
  
Rachel: A glorified groupie.  
  
Lilly: Well... Does she get to be _Chichiri's_ groupie?  
  
Rachel: Eh... no... But she is _Tasuki's_ groupie. And Nuri's.  
  
Lilly: Okay! (Grins and flashes a peace sign.)  
  
Rachel: (Grabs their arms and drags them backstage.) You do know the songs and stuff, right...?  
  
.::8::.  
  
Nuriko looked up as the door opened again. He had shooed everyone but Hotohori out of the room, and then sunk into a chair and stared forlorny at his makeup kit.  
  
Nuriko: Who are they?  
  
Rachel: (Gestures to the two girls beside her.) Nuriko, meet Magenta and Columbia.  
  
Nuriko: (Face lights up.) Really?  
  
Audra: Yup.  
  
Lilly: Nu-ri-ko!! (Grins ecstatically, then her grin fades.) Where're Chichiri and Tasuki?  
  
Nuriko: They're around somewhere...  
  
At that, Lilly attempted to run out the door, but was stopped by the director grabbing her arm.  
  
Rachel: Uh-uh. You can go bishie-hunting _after _you're in your costumes.  
  
Lilly: Aww...  
  
Audra: (Rolls her eyes and sits in the chair Nuriko had recently occupied.) Well?  
  
Nuriko: Right.  
  
Hotohori: (Wakes up from a doze.) What?  
  
Nuriko: (Eyes get all sparkly.) We have two new people to get into costume before we change!  
  
Hotohori: We shall have to hurry, there is not much time.  
  
.::8::.  
  
Rachel was smiling to herself as she walked back on stage, where she was planning on waiting until Mitsukake called her over the headset. She was about to receive her second surprise in thirty minutes.  
  
A pair of hands covered her eyes.  
  
?: (In a sibilant, slightly gravelly voice.) The master is pleased you could come...  
  
Rachel: Hey! Lemme go!  
  
?: Not until you guess who I am...  
  
Rachel: (She taps her foot in mock agitation.) Houjun Ri, let me go this instant!  
  
Chichiri: (Lets go.) Fine no da!  
  
Rachel: (Grins, then turns around.) Gah!  
  
Chichiri: (Smirks.) I take it Nuriko did a good job on the makeup?  
  
Rachel: Good? Chiri, Richard O'Brien would be jealous.   
  
Just then, her headset crackled to life.  
  
Mitsukake: (over headset) I've found the car. Have you found the mage?  
  
Rachel: (into mic) Yeah. Or rather, he found me. You won't believe the number Nuri did on him!  
  
Mitsukake: That bad?  
  
Rachel: Heh. I wish. Just wait until you see it. Get your butt over here, will ya?  
  
Mitsukake: (from the left) Way ahead of you.  
  
The healer walked onto the stage, something small and white in one hand. Chichiri, who had had one eyebrow raised since the makeup comment, broke into a grin. The object in Mitsukake's hand was a small toy car, words painted almost to small to see all over it.  
  
Chichiri: I take it you found Chiriko na no da?  
  
Rachel: (looks shocked) How the hell did you know about that? Wait, I don't want to know. (to Mitsukake) Set it in the middle of the stage, will ya?  
  
Mitsukake: (does as she asks)  
  
A red glow surrounds the small car, and it begins to grow, reaching life-size in a matter of moments. The words "Just Married" and "She Got Hers Now He'll Get His" are now clearly legible from the back of the theater.  
  
Rachel: (grins and claps) Alright! Is everything ready for the opening?  
  
Mitsukake: I think so... Curtain is in... ten minutes.  
  
Rachel: (flatly) And no one has shown up yet.  
  
Chichiri: I'm sure they'll start flooding in soon no da!  
  
Rachel: (mock-glares) Optimist. Alright, Mits, could you go and check on Vash and Dominic?  
  
Mitsukake: (nods and melts back into the shadows)  
  
Rachel: (wide eyes) No one that tall should be able to do that. (turns to "Riff Raff") You may want to go check on Magenta and Columbia in the makeup room. Maybe rehearse a little?  
  
Chichiri: Alright. And stop worrying, will you? You're giving me blue hairs!  
  
Rachel: (raises eyebrow) ...Right. Oh, and watch out for Lilly. She's a fangirl. Eh... you might want to watch out for Audra, too. She bites.  
  
Chichiri: Will do. (walks offstage)  
  
Rachel: (looks out at rows and rows of empty seats) ...Shit.  
  
.::8::.  
  
Otaku-no-Miko was once again sitting in the ticket booth, reading Demon Diary and enjoying the freedom of a lack of braces thoroughly. In other words, she was chewing about three pieces of gum.   
  
Out of the shadows a form approached unheeded. It walked up to the ticket booth and stood there, staring at the blonde ineffectively for a while. Finally, tired of being ignored, it coughed politely.   
  
?: Um... Yo? This is where the play is tonight, right?  
  
Otaku: No, this is where the snorklewear show is. How may I help you? (finally looks up) Oh! Hi, Wolfdog! What's up?  
  
Wolfdog, a thirteen-year-old girl with shoulder-length black hair, looked nonplussed. She shoved her hands into dark green hoodie.   
  
Wolfdog: _Feh._ Looks like this is the place. (looks around) Not many people here.   
  
Otaku: Nope. You're the first.  
  
Wolfdog: (hands over some cash) Ticket, please.  
  
Otaku: (hands her a ticket) Enjoy the show. Oh, and feel free to glomp any bishies you run into in there.   
  
Wolfdog: (grins) Like I needed permission?   
  
.::8::.  
  
Audra: Okay, first off, any romantic nonsense that occurs on stage means nothing, got it?  
  
Chichiri: Da...  
  
Lilly: (latches onto his arm) Don't be so mean to him, Rekka!   
  
Chichiri: (sweatdrop) Da...  
  
Audra: What? I said what I meant!  
  
Lilly: (eyes go all teary and big) You're so mean!  
  
Chichiri: Da... (thinks to himself:) _Rachel is going to _pay_ for this..._  
  
Nuriko: (watches from the sidelines, snickering)  
  
Hotohori: (keeps shooting the captive mage sympathetic looks)(whispering to Nuriko) I think we should help him.  
  
Nuriko: Why? He's a big boy. He can take care of himself.  
  
Hotohori: He's too _nice _to push her off.   
  
Nuriko: That's his problem.  
  
Chichiri: (manages to detach Lilly without seeming rude) Da... I was just supposed to rehearse some lines with you two na no da. Eh... Do you both have the songs memorized?  
  
Audra: Unfortunately.  
  
Lilly: (nods happily) Sure do!  
  
Chichiri: (relieved sigh) Thank the gods - er - Good. Lines?  
  
Audra: We don't have any until the "happy couple" get to Frank N. Furter's mansion. I can rehearse then.  
  
Chichiri: (nods) I have to go and... er... check up on something... (dodges Lilly as he beats a hasty retreat)  
  
Lilly: (snaps fingers) Darn it!  
  
Audra: (rolls eyes)  
  
.::8::.  
  
Otaku's eyes widened as she looked from one end of the street to the other. There were mobs at both ends.   
  
Otaku: Ulp. I hope they're all here for tickets...  
  
It turned out they were. She was swamped by people standing in a restless queue.  
  
.::8::.  
  
The lights dimmed and the crowd hushed. It was one of those rare perfect moments of absolute stillness.   
  
Then a spotlight flicked onto the curtains, and a figure shuffled onto the stage.  
  
At first there is a breathless moment, then a chorus of whistles and catcalls as the fangirls in the audience finally recognized the cast member through all the makeup.  
  
Eventually they settled down, and the music cut in, the soft guitar hushing the last few murmurers in the audience.  
  
Riff Raff: (begins to sing)   
  
_Micheal Rennie was ill the day the earth stood still,  
but he told us where we stand.  
And Falsh Gordon was there in silver underwear,  
Claud Rains was the invisible man.  
Then something went wrong for Fay Wray and KingKong.  
They got caught in a celluloid jam.  
Then at a deadly pace,   
it came from outer-space,  
and this how the message ran:  
  
Science fiction   
double feature  
Dr. X he'll build a creature.  
See androids fighting  
Brad and Janet  
and Francis stars in:  
Forbidden Planet.  
  
At the late night, double feature picture show.  
_  
(There is a single whoop from the audience, which is shushed by a barrage of crumpled up programs.)  
  
_I know Leo G. Carrol was over a barrel   
When Tarantula took to the hills.  
And I really got hot when I saw Jenette Scott  
Fight a triffid that spits poison and kills.   
Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes  
And passing them used lots of skills  
But when worlds collide,  
Said George Pal to his bride,  
I'm gonna give you some terrible thrills like a:  
  
Science fiction   
Double feature  
Dr. X he'll build a creature.  
See androids fighting  
Brad and Janet  
And Francis stars in:  
Forbidden Planet.  
  
At the late night, double feature picture show.  
  
I wanna go to the late night double feature picture show,  
By RKO!  
  
To the late night double feature picture show,  
in the back row!_  
  
(The curtains begin to slide open and he slowly backs offstage.)  
  
_To the late night, double feature picture show._  
  
Rachel grinned and gave Chichiri a highfive before going back to tensly watching the stage.  
  
Onstage, the "doors" to the church cut-out were flung back with a convincing sound-effect courtesy of Vash the Stampede. Ralph and Betty Hapshatt (played by two chorus members) came out to cheers from the other actors onstage. A few handfuls of rice were thrown.   
  
Ralph shook hands with the minister (aka Frank N. Furter, played by Nuriko) and slipped him a twenty dollar bill.   
  
Rachel: (muttering to herself) Alright... now go over to Tamahome... good...  
  
Chichiri: You _really_ need to stop stressing over this no da.  
  
Rachel: I can't help it. (points at shirt, which says DIRECTOR on it) It comes with the territory. Besides, these things have a way of going wrong...  
  
Chichiri: (sighs and shakes his head) Alright, alright. (pats her on the head before heading backstage to get in place)  
  
Rachel: (pats hair back into place irritably)  
  
(Onstage)  
  
Brad (Tamahome): ...inseparable ever since you sat in on Dr. Scott's refresher lectures.  
  
Ralph: To tell you the truth, Brad, she was the only reason I came in the first place. To tell you the truth, Brad, She was the only reason I came in the first place. Science was never one of my favourite subjects but I'm sure without Dr. Scott I couldn't have made it today.  
  
Brad: Yes, Janet and I are both fond of him. We drove over to see him last vacation. It's a shame his new job took him away from Denton.  
  
(Offstage)  
  
Rachel bit her lip as the door of the church opened again, but the audience didn't appear to notice. She let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding as Riff Raff closed the door without causing so much as an eye in the audience to flicker in his direction.  
  
(Onstage)  
  
Janet (Miaka) caught the bouquet of silk flowers thrown by Betty.  
  
After the Married couple have gotten into the car and "driven" offstage, Brad and Janet linger outside the church. So three of the caretakers, an old man with a pitchfork and his "wife" and "daughter". They stand so that they resemble the "American Gothic" painting.  
  
The "daughter" (Columbia) walks offstage, while the "father" (Riff Raff) and "mother" (Magenta) stay by the doors of the church.  
  
Janet: (still holding bouquet) Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful. Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful. Just an hour ago she was plain old Betty Monroe. (sounds wistful) Now she's Mrs. Brad Hapshatt.  
  
Brad: (still watching after the car) Er... yes, Janet... Ralph's a lucky guy.   
  
Columbia: (Walks back onstage and takes her place next to Riff Raff and Magenta.)  
  
(They start to walk around the stage.)  
  
Janet: Yes.  
  
Brad: Everyone knows Betty's a wonderful little cook.  
  
Janet: (glares and puts her hands on her hips, sticking her tongue out at his back) Yes.  
  
Brad: And Ralph himself will be in line for a promotion in a year or so.  
  
Janet: Yes.  
  
The first chord of the "Wedding Song" reverberated through the theater.  
  
Brad turned to Janet with a determined look on his face.  
  
Brad: Hey, Janet.  
  
Janet: Yes brad.  
  
Brad: I've got something to say.  
  
Janet: (breathy) Uh-huh.  
  
Brad: I really loved the ...skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet.  
  
Janet: Oh, Brad.  
  
They turn to each other and begin to sing:  
  
_Brad: The river was deep but I swam it!  
Chorus: Janet.  
_  
(The obvious sneer in the chorus's combined voices (the chorus being Riff Raff, Magenta, and Columbia, causes the audience to snicker.)  
  
_Brad: The future is ours so let's plan it!  
Chorus: Janet.  
Brad: So please don't tell me to can it!  
Chorus: Janet.  
Brad: I've one thing to say, and that's dammit, Janet, I love you!  
The road was long but I ran it!  
Chorus: Janet.  
Brad: There's a fire in my heart and you fan it!  
Chorus: Janet.  
Brad: If there's one fool for you than I am it!  
Chorus: Janet.  
Brad: I've one thing to say, and that's dammit, Janet, I love you!  
Here's the ring to prove that I'm no joker.  
There's three ways that love can grow:  
That's good, bad, and midiocre!  
Oh, J-A-N-E-T I love you so!  
Janet: Oh, it's nicer than Betty Monroe had!  
Chorus: Oh Brad.  
Janet: Now we're engaged and I'm so glad!  
Chorus: Oh Brad.  
Janet: That you met mom and you know dad!  
Chorus: Oh Brad.   
Janet: I've one thing to say, and that's Brad, I'm mad for you too!  
Chorus: Oh Brad!  
Brad: Oh, dammit.  
Janet: I'm mad!  
Brad: Oh, Janet!  
Janet: For you...  
Brad: I love you too-oo-oo-oo.  
Together: There's one thing left to do, ah-oo!  
Brad: And that's go see the man who began it!  
Chorus: Janet.  
Brad: When we met in his science exam, it  
Chorus: Janet.  
Brad: Made me give you the eye and then panic!  
Chorus: Janet.  
Brad: I've one thing to say, and that's dammit, Janet, I love you!  
Brad: Dammit, Janet!  
Janet: Oh Brad, I'm mad!  
Brad: Dammit, Janet!  
Together: I love you!_  
  
They kissed at the end of the song, amid whoops and cat-calls from the audience.  
  
The curtains slid shut, and the audience clapped.  
  
(Offstage)  
  
It was like ants when their anthill was flooded. There were half a dozen people running around doing things that even the director wasn't sure about.  
  
Rachel: (into headset) Hey, Mits? Is Neko doing her job?  
  
Mistukake: Yeah.  
  
Rachel: (breaths a sigh of relief) Thank the gods. How long do you think the set change will take?  
  
Mitsukake: Three minutes at most.   
  
Rachel: Right.   
  
There was a crash onstage.  
  
Mitsukake: Make that six...  
  
((Alrighty! REVIEW, people! Otherwise I will give you to Frank! Mwahahahaaaaa!   
  
I'm still welcoming cameos!   
  
To the two of you peoples that reviewed (Otaku-no-miko and Wolfdog21), I give a big cookie. Yes, one. You two can fight over it.)) 


End file.
